Pressure, Praise and Mindset
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Where Pressure Really Comes From
- Kids most often name parents, not coaches, as their biggest source of pressure.
- Most parents don't think they pressure their kids. Both things are true.
- Pressure leaks out through reactions, not speeches. Kids read reactions.
Read the transcript
In the last module we talked about the car ride home, and how the twenty minutes after a game shape how your child feels about playing. This module goes one layer deeper, into the pressure kids carry onto the court before the game even starts, and where that pressure comes from. When kids are asked who puts the most pressure on them, the most common answer isn't the coach. It isn't teammates. It's their parents. And when those same parents are asked whether they pressure their kids, almost all of them say no. Both are telling the truth. Pressure rarely arrives as yelling. It arrives as a sigh after a missed shot. A question about the score before a question about the day. The drive home that goes quiet after a loss. Kids are expert readers of their parents. They know what you care about from how you react, not from what you say you care about. The good news is that this works in both directions. Once you see how pressure leaks out, you can close the leaks. That's what this module is about.